You had to know this was coming. I mean, with all the talk in the previous post about ENTIRE body shaving…..geesh, you just HAD to know I’d take it a step further.

Before I head in the obvious direction, I’d like to take a little side trip — ass hair. Personally, I don’t remember that phrase ever entering my consciousness, but a friend touched on the subject recently.

“You know,” he said, “there’s a theory that all body hair radiates from the ass.” Apparently, on many men it’s at its wild & wooly thickest there at the supposed origin. “God, you wonder in the locker room if some guys are trying to hide small mammals back there.”

I had no idea what to say to that, so the conversation pretty much ended there — well, after the uproarious laughter subsided. I was curious to see if this was a topic that others thought about, so — you guessed it — this morning I googled “ass hair.”

OMG…..this led to so many fits of uncontrolled laughter that my cats are now staring at me with a mingling of concern, curiosity, and borderline fear.

One college student, facing a personal hygiene problem which never, ever, EVER occurred to me, has issues which repel, horrify, and amuse all at once. A wannabe male stripper asks his female roommate to assist with his problem (“when Joseph disrobed, it appeared as if a small dog had curled up on his buttocks to take a nap”) the night before an audition. On YouTube, three friends argue while playing cards, and come to a profound conclusion that “your ass hair doesn’t have any friends.” A reporter for an internet site attempts to conduct a serious, informative play-by-play while having his ass waxed by an apparently sadistic female who continually yanks “roadkill” off his nether regions and shows it to the camera.

I learned that ass hair seems to be a concern for most men, whether for hygiene, logistic, or vanity reasons. I also learned that ass hair doesn’t really enter the radar of most women….in my search this morning, their comments are almost nonexistent on the topic, unless they are referencing a male friend or significant other. My guess is that women are not that concerned with men’s back-door area since it really doesn’t serve a purpose for us.

OK. Now that my abs have rested a bit from the belly-laugh workout and my cats have found sweet little slumber spots on my couch, we can turn to the final topic — or at least *my* final topic — relating to body hair.

The Brazilian wax.

I’m not sure why, but in the last 6-8 months this has come up in casual conversation with a lot of my women friends. One person heard that one of her colleagues undergoes this procedure regularly. “Oh my God,” she said, “can you imagine how much it would ITCH when it started to grow back?”

Another woman I know endured the procedure herself. “It was very weird getting it done,” she said. I mean, you’re spread out in all your glory in front of a stranger. “It really helped that she [the waxer] was very professional.”

Yet another friend has a friend who tried it for the first time many months ago. The two of them had gotten into a fairly detailed conversation. “I really wondered,” my friend shared, “if men’s obsession with the Brazilian had a connection to pre-pubescent girls.” Frankly, I’d wondered the same thing, so I leaned forward to hear this other woman’s take on it. “But my friend’s husband said no, absolutely not. There’s nothing little-girlish about a woman’s body, even with the pubic hair gone.” The waxing was so “very well received” by the husband that my friend’s friend has kept it up. Ummmm……quite literally. ;-)

As I thought about it more, I wondered if men learned to like the Brazilian because, in all likelihood, their favorite porn stars do it. I’m more comfortable believing that than the thing about little girls. That just creeps me out.

I found an informative article on a college newspaper site. Going completely hairless is a growing trend, and not just among women. A few excerpts:

Danielle Nobbs goes to Studio 505 to get her bikini wax…..[she] explains that this is all worth it because she likes how a Brazilian wax looks and feels. “It’s not only about how it looks,” she said. “It’s about bringing my sexuality out in the open. Women are brought up that sex and their private parts are bad or dirty. This kind of gets things out in the open. My private parts are not hidden anymore, and I shouldn’t be ashamed,” she said.

This trend occurs more often among women, but according to USA Today, increasing numbers of men are removing their pubic hair also. “I shave completely down there,” said senior Chris Baldwin. “I prefer women who shave, so I figure they would prefer it if I shaved also. It’s a trend that’s common and acceptable among college males and females. Shaving seems cleaner and more maintained.”

Brandon Ratcliff, a SCSU student, agrees. “I don’t shave but I trim,” he said. “I like to clean it up and make it look presentable for the opposite sex. I prefer women who don’t shave completely down there but leave a landing strip. Completely bald makes me feel like a pedophile. Also oral sex is much better with someone who shaves.”

Not everyone who shaves their pubic hair has a boyfriend or a sexual partner. “I don’t have sex but I still shave,” said Lesley Christianson, a junior at SCSU. “I like how it feels, and besides I look at it this way: it’s like having a summer home and mowing the lawn every once in a while in case you have visitors.”

I found a blog entry in which a woman describes her first Brazilian. She decided to have it done because she was going on a lengthy, scantily-clad trip in which she didn’t want to be bothered with shaving. Waxing would last 3-6 weeks. Most disconcerting were these comments:

It hurt like a mother fucker. I let out a pretty hefty yelp at least twice. And yes the waxer had my legs open, fidgeted with my labia, ripped my pubic hair from the corners of every available space on my “privates” and even asked me to sit up doggie style, while she made sure all the surface area was completely “handled” correctly. My skin was swollen, red, and burning directly after the waxing. I was instructed to take ibuprofen and put arnica gel or cortaid on my suddenly prickly-pubic- chicken skin to reduce the initial swelling.

Yikes!! But there were some interestingly encouraging observations:

It felt totally great after about 24 hours! The smoothness of my own skin “down there” was titillating to say the least. I couldn’t believe that it could be so soft. And yes, I found out a few days later that it increased sensitivity in all the right places at all the right times, which made up for any pain or discomfort that I experienced.

Well now, that is *hands-down* the best reason I’ve come across. Enduring pain for pleasure is totally understandable. Am I right? I mean, that’s not just me, right? You feel that way, too, I’m sure…. right?

You agree, don’t you?