Remember the bit “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” during the good ol’ days of Saturday Night Live? Well, I found an iGoogle module which feeds me one of these per day, and I’ve been saving the funnier ones…..
It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly, but also, check out his Adam’s apple.
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave, and because sometimes he’d eat one of us. Later on, we found out he was a bear.
I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then at the very end, there’s a page you can lick, and it tastes like Kool-Aid.
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver, and since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up real quick and hand it to him.
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police, but then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
You can’t tell me that cowboys, when they’re branding cattle, don’t sort of “accidentally” brand each other every once in awhile. It’s their way of letting off stress.