Awhile back, StumbleUpon took me to an amusing page in which someone had authored “Perfect Day for a Woman” and “Perfect Day for a Man.” The pre-7am and post-11pm items in the man list made me laugh out loud, but I just sort of wrinkled my nose at the woman list.

Of course I was immediately inspired to consider my own perfect day! The early morning hours came pretty easily to me, but once I got myself dressed in my happy little daydream, I couldn’t narrow down my activities to all-time favorites. Should I incorporate time travel and visits to an alternate universe so that I could get everything in? Should I include the porn? Should I assume a given mood or situation or reality? And how can I say that the morning I’d already imagined would be THE perfect morning? Other types of mornings could be blissful, too. Especially ones in which world peace would be involved.

The possibilities created a dizzying, surreal loop in my brain. Too many decisions! Too much pressure! I couldn’t decide where to take it, so the post languished on my hard drive.

It languished, that is, until I ran across it again this evening. With a fresh, just-get-it-done perspective and a minor tweak or two, I got it ready to publish. Yeah, yeah, I know it leaves you hanging at 9:32am. Sorry ’bout that. But what’s important here is that I’ve now freed myself from pondering perfection — ultimately a waste of time, anyway.

A Perfect Morning

6:30 Awaken to a soft breeze coming through my bedroom window. The gentle wind, silk sheets, and meditative sounds of ocean waves (yep, I live on the beach) hug me with a bubbly happiness. It’s a vaguely cool springtime morning, and birds cheerily sing in the distance. My concert-pianist neighbor is obviously home from his whirlwind European tour, because “Fur Elise” teases my eardrums in a pleasingly calm sort of way.
6:31 What’s that I hear? Is it *quiet* beneath the piano melody? Yes, it is! Joy! The ringing in my ears has stopped. I bask.
6:40 Sweet mankitties Ozzy and Blue jump on the bed for some quality cuddle time.
6:58 Roll out of bed to discover I’m sore from my strength training workout two days ago. Ahhhh, every move reminds me that I’m alive and healthy! I slip on a robe, gaze around the room, and….wow, the bedroom-cleaning fairy visited during the night. I am amazed at how quiet he’d been.
6:59 Look out the window to witness something hilarious. Perhaps a squirrel is doing something odd with a nut. I laugh heartily.
7:00 Stroll downstairs where I discover that the bedroom-cleaning fairy’s cousins, the pet-hair-sucking gremlin and kitchen-scouring troll, had also visited during the night. They must’ve just left, because there’s a fresh pot of coffee brewing. It smells so good!
7:05 Settle on my pristine blue couch in my pristine den next to yet another breezy, sunlit, open window. There’s a cup of coffee in my hand, my Powerbook is on my lap, and Ozzy and Blue snuggle beside me.
7:06 Surf mindlessly.
7:16 Discover that Apple has introduced another innovative product, propelling the value of its stock into the stratosphere.
7:17 Confirm with my stock broker that he did, indeed, purchase those 10,000 shares of Apple stock for me last week.
7:18 Venture off couch for a second cup of coffee. Eat a light, healthy, yummy breakfast….perhaps slices of honey crisp apple dipped in toffee-cheesecake-flavored yogurt. And an Asian pear so juicy that it dribbles down my chin.
7:25 Continue surfing mindlessly.
7:35 iPhone rings, and it’s my mom. She’s feeling great today, and is excited that she has plans with her friends and my sister. All is happy and blissful back home. We chat for a bit.
7:55 Head back upstairs, throw on shorts and a t-shirt, and attach my Shuffle to appropriate body parts.
8:00 Run on the beach, alternating exhilarating sprints with slow, easy jogs. I see no other humans, so the beach belongs only to me!
8:45 Endorphins, yeah!!!
9:15 Hydratherapy. Some people call this a ‘shower’.
9:30 Catch a glimpse in the mirror of something in my upper arms NOT jiggling….cool, those triceps kickbacks have finally paid off.
9:32 Pull on jeans and a sleeveless top. I’m energized and ready for anything, baby!